Start with a recurring match question
A useful mentoring relationship begins with a specific question the player wants to answer. “How can I improve?” is understandable, but it gives a conversation little direction. “Why do I receive with a defender already on my back?” creates a problem that can be explored through actual game moments.
Choose a question the player recognizes. A parent may be concerned about turnovers while the player is more worried about finding the ball. Those observations can be connected: where the player starts may influence the pressure they face. Establishing that connection is more productive than presenting a list of everything an adult wants fixed.
Build a cycle across matches
Think in terms of observe, discuss, try and revisit. First, collect a few relevant situations. During discussion, describe what happened and explore the options available at the time. Then choose something the player can attempt in training or the next match. Finally, review whether the original situation appeared and what the player noticed.
The revisit matters. A player might understand a diagram immediately but find the same choice difficult when opponents move quickly. That does not make the conversation pointless. It identifies the next question: was the information missing, was the action technically difficult, or did the game situation differ from the example?
Keep the next step small enough to use
Imagine a hypothetical midfielder who repeatedly receives facing their own goal. A broad instruction to “play forward more” may encourage rushed turns. A more useful experiment is to notice the nearest opponent before the pass arrives and decide whether turning is available. Sometimes the correct response will still be a return pass.
Write the focus in a sentence the player can remember: “Before receiving, check whether I have space to turn.” Pair it with a simple observation for later review. Did the player look? What information was visible? Did the choice fit that information? This makes the goal usable without demanding a successful forward pass every time.
Give parents a supporting role
Parents can help by arranging footage, protecting time for the conversation and asking what the player wants to work on. They do not need to become a second tactical voice during matches. Constant reminders from the touchline can make it harder to tell what the player independently recognized.
After a session, ask the player to explain their chosen focus in their own words. If they cannot, reduce the complexity. A shared note might contain the situation, one cue and a question to revisit. Avoid turning the note into a scorecard for every mistake; its purpose is to support learning between conversations.
Review the relationship as well as performance
A worthwhile review asks whether the player participates, understands the advice and can connect it to their own games. Wins, goals and team selection depend on many factors. They are poor standalone measures of whether a mentoring conversation was useful.
After several sessions, consider what has become clearer and what remains difficult. The next focus may change as the player's position, schedule or team instructions change. Online mentoring should remain connected to those realities. Soccer Mentor uses individual video conversations; its Season package includes 10 sessions for $550 total. The important buying question is whether that kind of repeated reflection addresses a problem your player wants help solving.
A mentoring cycle to use between matches
Use these prompts to guide a coaching conversation. Adapt them to the player and team instructions.
Swipe across to view the full table →
| Stage | Player task | Question to revisit |
|---|---|---|
| Observe | Bring a recurring match situation. | What do I want to understand? |
| Discuss | Explain the pressure and options visible in the clip. | What information affected my choice? |
| Try | Choose one manageable cue for practice. | When would this cue help? |
| Revisit | Compare a similar situation after playing. | What became clearer, and what changed? |
Key takeaways
- Begin with a match question the player recognizes.
- Use a short observe–discuss–try–revisit cycle.
- Judge usefulness through understanding and application, alongside game context.
Frequently asked questions
Is mentoring the same as extra soccer training?
Mentoring focuses on discussing the game and interpreting decisions. Physical practice is still needed to execute skills under pressure. The two can support each other when a conversation produces a useful practice focus, but a video session does not replace playing or training.
Does every session need a new problem?
No. Revisiting one problem can reveal whether the player is recognizing it more clearly. Bring fresh examples of the same situation, including examples that went well. Change the focus when the original question is understood or when the player’s needs change.
What should we ask on an introductory call?
Explain the player’s age, role, available footage and main question. Ask how sessions support the player’s own thinking and what preparation is expected. For Soccer Mentor, the free 10-minute introductory call is a conversation about fit, rather than a free film analysis.
Sources and further reading
- FIFA: Player-led learning and individual reflection: Connect reflection with subsequent individual work.